tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post5568533812060939562..comments2023-03-30T08:44:55.822-04:00Comments on Funambulism for Beginners: Scattered GriefUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post-29026808833132209772014-09-11T10:45:04.072-04:002014-09-11T10:45:04.072-04:00I have the same dreams and the same thoughts and I... I have the same dreams and the same thoughts and I have noticed I have taken to lying about how things are going. No one wants or needs to hear the truth. My tipping point was sitting in the hospital and looking at the half-dozens specialists caring for my daughter and realizing they are running out of stuff to do or try. Our good days look like really bad days from a year ago. No one knows what to say. And even the doctors and the nurses look on the verge of tears. They are speechless.<br /><br /> And, I am here, with my computer in front of me, understanding everything you write and not having anything to say except. You will survive this, this is so awful, but you will survive this and your beautiful DQ will never go away as long as you keep her with you. This is what I tell myself about my mermaid. I find myself thinking of her funeral and how I will visit her to tell her about what is going on when her sickness is done. Is it okay to cheat and rename death the end of dying.<br /> And, more and more, I run home from work praying I can my mermaid from her from the feeding tube and hold her for hours on end and that I will get a few smiles and some Callie song. I realized recently after this last hospitalization, Cal doesn't sing so much anymore. To be sure, it wasn't really singing, so much as the last remnants of speech, a sort of cooing I called Callie song, but, we don't hear it so much anymore.<br /><br /> So, I am here, sitting thousands of miles from you and it helps me to know you are there feeling just as I do. So, if we must give up our girls, at least, we can't hold on to the fact that we love them so fearlessly, and so completely, that it feels like we will die with them. But, I know we won't actually die, it will just feel like we are. And know that there is someone who feels just like you here in Philadelphia. That is all I can offer you, and, possibly, the comfort in knowing you have done everything you could, you never ran away or hid from loving the DQ even though loving her so purely will break you apart. You have loved her to the point of your own obliteration. That is the sign of true love, but it also in this incredible love I can assure you, your love will not destroy you....it just has to be this way.<br />The Recovering Supermomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13062188908071138872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post-54758026618262390632014-09-10T17:56:44.505-04:002014-09-10T17:56:44.505-04:00Not good! I hope he at least got a good meal!Not good! I hope he at least got a good meal!From the Kitchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00789641912016566894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post-43151425524582063172014-09-10T14:22:09.886-04:002014-09-10T14:22:09.886-04:00I'm sure he'd be okay drenched because tha...I'm sure he'd be okay drenched because that would mean he is out and about. They took a bus over this morning for a conference and will be busing it back tonight. Over 10 hours in a small, uncomfortable bus, with no place to even rest a head and packed so tight, he has no personal space. A walk in the rain would probably be nice!Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11148983594692927783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post-50737344449407160392014-09-10T12:39:56.302-04:002014-09-10T12:39:56.302-04:00I would most certainly do that--and, take him some...I would most certainly do that--and, take him some lunch!! Hope he isn't being drenched. We have dire weather warnings but, so far, just heavy rain and now the sun is coming out.From the Kitchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00789641912016566894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post-68193895462961974352014-09-10T12:15:43.335-04:002014-09-10T12:15:43.335-04:00Thank you, Bonnie. I know you would and knowing t...Thank you, Bonnie. I know you would and knowing that does help me. You should go hug my sweet husband today as he is in your neck of the woods for work ;-)<br /><br />Thank you!Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11148983594692927783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post-20053039106115405252014-09-10T11:40:01.096-04:002014-09-10T11:40:01.096-04:00I wish I could actually hug you and let you cry on...I wish I could actually hug you and let you cry on my shoulder. I think you can only do what you are doing. How can any parent wrap their minds around the thought of losing a precious child? Yet she will never be lost to anyone that has seen her bright smile and zest for life as she has to live it. You are a strong family and I think that will carry TRex through. I certainly hope so.<br /><br />Best.<br />BonnieFrom the Kitchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00789641912016566894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8988524040957212858.post-77043916682752207152014-09-10T11:38:46.417-04:002014-09-10T11:38:46.417-04:00<3<3QB @ Tales from Domestic Obscurityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04913097549036694728noreply@blogger.com