Friday, May 31, 2013


I wish the same wish every night: Please run to my room and hug me in the morning. Please wake up and yell "mommy". Please don't let this end. Please give me tomorrow. Please find a cure. Please hand me a miracle. Please let me wake from this nightmare. Promise me forever!

And in that desperate plea, the pain is unbearable. Ever fiber of my being screams "there is no other choice but to find somebody smarter; to scour the world once more." I can't give up fighting. Maybe, if I hug her tighter and I wish harder, the answer will come.

And when my mind hits this ridiculousness, I snap back to reality. I flip the tear-stained pillow and claw my way to sleep.

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Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
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