A huge burden has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel imminently lighter.
The Mad Scientist and I finally came to a decision as to whether to send TRex to kindergarten in the fall. I have been worrying about this decision and how it can alter the rest of TRex's life for months now. I've fretted over whether holding him back will be the correct choice or whether sending him would do better in the end. I have been changing my mind minute by minute.
That is not me. I'm usually very good about making decisions. I think very quickly and decisions are made and finalized before others even knew there was something to decide, but I fretted over whether to send TRex to kindergarten. I asked every person I could think of with an opinion. I read and read and read article after article. I debated the pros and cons. Each time, the decision was too close to call. When it came down to it, the part of the decision that weighed heaviest on my mind, nobody could give me an answer.
Ultimately, the Mad Scientist and I had to decide whether we thought TRex would be emotionally stable enough to make it through kindergarten while his sister was in the hospital. I still don't know if he is stable enough. But through all of my searching, I learned, that he may never be stable enough. He is a very empathetic little boy, who cares for his sister more than anything in the world. When she is in the hospital, it hurts him in his core. I don't think giving him a year will change that. He will only care for his sister more as time goes by (as we all do). So, I took that out of the equation. Once that part of the question was pushed aside, the answer became easy.
TRex will go to kindergarten in the fall. He will turn five a couple of weeks before classes start. And he is very excited. He may struggle at some point being one of the younger kids in class, but a good friend reminded me that he is lucky enough to have educated parents, who can and will provide him any help needed. For now, I think he will do great. He is a smart kid with tons of potential and he wants to learn. Pre-k wouldn't provide him the structure or challenge that he desires. How could I hold him back?
For now, I'm very happy having this decision made and done with. In a couple of months, I may start to freak out with the thought of my baby in kindergarten, but for today, I'm good.