Thursday, May 19, 2011

Unexpected Lessons

Let's just say this hasn't been one of the best weeks I've had in a while. But, not in the emotional baggage kinda way. On that front, I've been doing tremendously well. Really, really well in fact.  Dancing Queen gets sick, goes on the third round of antibiotics for the same infection and I'm not freaking out. We even think she may have had SVTs at the end of her nap Wednesday (at school) and I'm still not freaking out.  I worry yes, but not the worry that was overtaking my life even a month ago. I am even starting to defeat the scatter brain problems.

But, back to this post.  This week has been fairly lousy in matters of my health.  I spiked a fever and crazy abdominal pains on Saturday afternoon, hit the bed and didn't really get up (except to change to the couch so I could watch chick flicks) until Tuesday morning when I had to go back to work because my fever subsided in the middle of Monday.  Tuesday my allergies (or so I thought) kicked in over-drive and by Wednesday, it hurt to breathe, my throat was swollen and sore, and I could not stop coughing.  I was certain it was allergies and my allergy medicine wasn't cutting it. I thought that until this morning.

This morning, I thought to myself, maybe I'd stop wheezing and would be able to speak a sentence without gasping for air if I just took a hit off of breathing treatment I was giving to DQ.  The lightbulb finally went off and I realized, maybe I need to see a doctor. I left the doctor's office after a shot of steroids, a breathing treatment, four prescriptions, and a valuable lesson.  Yup. I was fairly sick.

The unexpected lesson from all of this: the doctor barely had her stethoscope on my back when she said "You sound just like DQ.  You sound terrible."  She went on to say this is how DQ is all of the time. But really, DQ is probably worse because my oxygen saturations were higher sick than hers are normally. I've been miserable this week. My lungs hurt and because of the difficulty I have with breathing, it is always on my mind. I feel like I have to yell at people to project my voice due to lack of oxygen. I've been grumpier for it to.  Yet, this is how my precious, smiley, happy, loving life more than anyone else I know, baby always feels.  And still, she takes the bright side. I've always marveled at that, but I couldn't understand.  I still can't really understand, but she truly is amazing in every possible way.  My doctor and I discussed this today as well. Logically, we know DQ has never known different (except feeling worse), but still, she has always been happy and full of life.

Today, I learned why my daughter is so special. I always knew she lived her life to the fullest, but now I know what that truly means. Living life to the fullest isn't only about appreciating what is available to you and doing what is good and noble. It isn't only about grasping opportunities when they come your way or making those opportunities happen. It isn't only about the experiences.  It isn't only in loving with your entire being and giving of your soul. Its about doing all of those things while carrying a mountain of trouble on your back and never letting it take the smile from your face.  My daughter is truly an inspiration.


  1. Take care of yourself, Mom. I can honestly sat I know exactly how you feel. My symptoms are almost the same and I haven't slept in three nights for coughing ALL NIGHT LONG. Even the dog doesn't want to sleep in the same room. I haven't dressed today--such is the luxury one has with no small children to see to!! It's 8:20 p.m. and I'm ready for bed and hoping for sleep without hacking.



Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...