Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Scatter Brain

These are the days being a working mom is hard.  My son is sick, very sick.  He has the flu, a flu bug strong enough to bust through the flu vaccine.  He does not get sick like this frequently and all of my mom fibers just want stay home with him and snuggle him, but I can't.  I am buried in work right now and trying to prove I still am who I think I am.  The Mad Scientist will stay with TRex and I will trudge to work and . . . I don't know.

There is no question that I will get work done, but my mind will be thinking of TRex and the Dancing Queen.  I admit that TRex's illness has me more worried about the Dancing Queen getting it than TRex having it.  He has a fully functioning immune system, great respiratory system, and healthy heart to fight this.  The Dancing Queen does not and I don't recall a single sickness TRex has suffered through that he has not given to his sister (save one stomach bug Christmas 2008).  Let's face it, I will be distracted by sick kids.  This doesn't help because my mind is distracted a lot more lately anyway.

I think my brain stopped fully functioning on December 14, 2009, the day we were told the doctors had nothing more they could do for the Dancing Queen.  She had a matter of years to live and there was nothing to be done.  Luckily, I don't listen very well and found a second doctor willing to look at her case, which eventually led to the Dancing Queen's third major heart surgery last September and she is improving.  We still have no guarantees, but nobody does.  However, since that December day, I am much easier to distract.  Even now, I have to work very hard to concentrate on anything for too long.  It takes me longer to complete tasks.  This was never me.  I could get it all done quickly.  I would plow through.  I don't like this new me, but I haven't found a fix yet.  I guess I'm still trying to figure this whole heart mom thing out.  It would be so much easier if kids came with an instruction manual!

5 comments:

  1. I can't imagine how hard it must be with all of that on your shoulders. I have a hard time keeping up, without those concerns. If you ever get your hands on a manual like that, please send me a copy!

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  2. I had two healthy children (17 months apart) and went through a few years of "scatterbrainedness"!! I can only imagine what you are shouldering. I do hope the Dancing Queen doesn't end up sharing TRex's malady. I'm happy to hear that she likes potato pancakes!!

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  3. Wow. Just, wow.
    I always worry about my youngest son getting sick, and the only thing he struggles with is a mild case of asthma. I can barely concentrate on my own job due to constantly worrying about my kids, and my job is almost brainless! I can't imagine being in your shoes.
    Keeping my fingers crossed that the flu skips Dancing Queen and that TRex recovers quickly!

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  4. Wow. Just, wow.
    I always worry about my youngest son getting sick, and the only thing he struggles with is a mild case of asthma. I can barely concentrate on my own job due to constantly worrying about my kids, and my job is almost brainless! I can't imagine being in your shoes.
    Keeping my fingers crossed that the flu skips Dancing Queen and that TRex recovers quickly!

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  5. PS Sorry about tu double comment! Internet had a hiccup. :)

    ReplyDelete

Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
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