I don't have the time to write a blog. I don't. So, please don't expect me to be funny. I'm not funny in regular life, so I won't be funny here even if I had a ton of extra time. This is my outlet, my chance to scream for myself. I've been desperately searching for some other blog to follow that fits all of my things; some role model with a forum in which I can join her and shout out my frustrations in unison. Unfortunately, I have yet to find the full time litigation attorney, who is also a mom to two kids, with one having special needs. I follow mom blogs. I follow mom to special needs kids blogs. I follow law blogs. I follow mom law blogs. Not yet, have I found one who does it all. Apparently, all of the moms who do it all don't have time to blog. So, being the glutton for punishment that I am, I started my own blog. Now I can scream and perhaps provide a forum for other moms learning to walk the tightrope to share in their frustrations, triumphs, and tedium.
Not that my life is tedious, but it's just not what I had pictured when I went off to law school. The first thing they fail to tell you before you go to law school is that you will not have a fabulous lifestyle as an attorney. Lawyers don't get to act like Ally McBeal. They don't get to have fun in the party kind of way all day and there is a ton of work that goes into any brief, motion, or trial. No lawsuit is filed, argued, and completed in a day. It takes years. And those years are filled with reading documents (most of which are irrelevant), reading cases and statutes, taking depositions that can last days and days, resulting in no new information, then putting all of that into a page limited brief, all the while trying to keep clients happy when they think you are just having fun like Ally McBeal.
Don't get me wrong. I love reading documents, finding the smoking gun. I really love reading cases and finding the argument that will work. That is why I am a lawyer. But, the hours are not fun, especially when kids come along. In the last two weeks, last night was the first weeknight that I made it home before my kids' bedtime. The only reason I made it last night was because I left early due to the alleged snowmaggedon that was about to pour feet of snow upon our fair city. The reason I arrive home so late is: (1) I take care of the kids in the mornings, getting them off to preschool (my favorite part of the day!); and (2) I can't work from home. I am lousy it! So, I stay at work until the work is done or my brain is mush. Perhaps if I had an office, I could be more productive at home and work after the kids went to bed, but I doubt it.
So, this blog is a place for me write about how I cope with being a mom to a special needs child and a precocious 4 year old, a wife, a lawyer, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a friend, a volunteer, and whatever else comes my way. It is also a place for me to scream when it is too much because often it is. Finally, it is a place where I hope to find other moms just like me or anyone else who wants to come along for the ride.