Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Not a Tiger Mom

I am not a tiger mom. In fact, I sometimes think I an the opposite of a tiger mom.

Don't get me wrong. I want my children to succeed. I want them exposed to important learning experiences.

But, I don't force them to take lessons (except for TRex's swimming class, but that is to help him learn to swim cause he loves water and I don't want him to drown and we are hoping it will help him get over some of his fears). 

I don't sit in front of my kids with flashcards and I didn't make them learn to read as babies.

Frankly, I get annoyed that after seven hours in school each day my 5 year old has half hour of homework every night.  He's in kindergarten!

I think kids should be allowed to be kids. And I think school is important. I think homework is important. I think fostering the attitude that schoolwork is important is important (this is why I do not let TRex know I'm annoyed by his homework!)

I know there are other kids out there who are being groomed to excel in every way possible to be the uber kid so that by the time my kids are in junior high, the uber kids will make the team and beat my kids at everything. I know these uber kids will have better chances at ivy league schools and a more stable future. I saw their parents at an open house when kindergarten began. The desperation in their faces was palpable as they asked about starting a Mandarin club so the kids could learn more than Spanish. I know my kids will have tough competition.

Yet, I can't be a tiger mom.

I want childhood be to full of wonder and adventure. I want my kids' imaginations to bloom and grow. I want them to know the joy of a lazy day. Inspiration is born of a mind left to wander and experience. I don't see how regiment and 100% discipline allows the spirit to grow.

So, yes, I'm not a tiger mom.


  1. I sooooo agree with you on this post. I too am not a tiger mom. I want my kids to do well just like any normal mom but I want more than anything for them to get to be KIDS.....just KIDS. Not mini grown ups. There is a lot of pressure on them in school at such a young age. It's not right. We do not force Wyatt to participate in sports either. If he chooses to do it we support him and make sure that he sees it through to the end of the season. If at that time he doesn't want to do it again then that is totally ok. At least he tried it.

    I also agree....the amount of homework is annoying. :(

  2. I am *totally* not a tiger mom. Fact is, kids are little sponges and will soak up plenty if you just talk to them. In fact, that is the best parenting advice I can give anyone. Talk. To. Your. Kid. It's better if they learn stuff because they *want* to know, not because they're being force fed it. Also, I totally agree that little kids (K-3) are given WAY too much homework. It's completely ridiculous.

  3. I am totally not a 'tiger mom' but lately my son's kindergarten teacher has made me feel really bad about it. We do the nightly reading, know the day of the week, count all the time, but for some reason he won't do it at school. I really think it is because it is way too structured and we don't have that in our house. I am starting to feel like it is expected that I will spend an hour every night sitting with him and studying sight word flashcards, worksheets, and all the other boring stuff that does not stimulate his learning at school. I am just confused and was made to feel like a really crappy parent at conferences.


Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
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