Friday, October 19, 2012

Growing Up

My baby is growing up. She is looking so old and so incredibly beautiful. I often marvel at how far she has come.

I mean, look at her. She is simply amazing.

I look at this picture, taken earlier this week, on DQ's first official  picture day, and I think "how can this child only be 4.5 years old?" She just looks so much older (at least in this picture)?

So many things she does these days are grown up. Yet, she reminds me that she is still so very little all of the time as well. It is a hard age. She wants to be big. She is big. But she wants to be small. She asks me to cradle her in my arms and hold her like a baby. She is so, so tiny, I can easily rock her in my arms, just like I did when she was a baby.

How did we ever make it this far? How is it possible that I planned kindergarten for her just last week? Wasn't it last month that she was still demanding baby food at every meal? (I guess that was last year.) 

I am so proud of my children and how far they have come. I've known that TRex is big for years now. He blows me away with his depth, his compassion, his understanding. Wise beyond his years and unfortunately, gaining more experiences no 6 year old should face. Yet, he takes it all in incredible stride.

Yet, DQ, I've not let myself see her get big. Yes, I agree with her that she is big when she makes the statement. But did I really believe it? She's not big. She weighs less than 30 pounds, but my goodness has she matured.

I can't wait to see what more she will do and who she will continue to become. Who thought this would be possible before she was born or that dreaded day in December 2009, when she was given two years at most to live? 

I don't know. Maybe not.

I was drawn to this picture, stared at it for a good 10 minutes late last night, thinking "how did she get so old and why are her lips blue?"  I searched other recent pictures to see if was just the lighting, but no, her lips have a constant blueish tint in all of them. Pictures taken at the same of TRex, show perfectly pink lips. When did that happen? Her oxygen has been okay, hasn't it? Why is she blue?

Why do I have to have reminders of the bad when I notice the wonderful?


  1. She is a beautiful child! She's already beaten the odds. She deserves a future. Plan for it!!


    1. Thank you. I think you are right. We'll make big plans. Afterall, she wants to be a cardiologist and a mommy.

  2. She is adorable! It sounds like she is a tough cookie who has beaten the odds. You go DQ!

  3. She is so beautiful, she is my hero, and she is my hope for Emily's future.

    1. I'm so glad my sweet girl can be your hero and your hope for your sweet girl's future! She's my hero too. I know our girls are going to beat all odds!!!! Sending lots of heart hugs your way <3


Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
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