Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Pinch Me

I love fall. I love the cooler weather, the color of the leaves. I love wearing heavy clothes and snuggling under a blanket at night. I love apples and soup, cider and donuts. And I just love the feeling I get inside of me when it becomes fall.  It may be a relic of my school days, but everything seems to start over in the fall. I love that.

And no matter how much I am reminded that fall is here . . . now, I'm not feeling it this year.  I don't know. It just doesn't feel real. None of it does. Each day, I go through the motions, but don't feel connected to any of it. Maybe its being in a new house and doing a new job.  Maybe its the unease of DQ's constant illness without answer. Maybe its the cough medicine I've been guzzling for the last week.

No matter what it is, I'm not connected to this fall and maybe not even connected to my life right now. Is that possible? I still do it all. I still hug my babies close and grab my camera so I don't forget the moments. I still work, drive home every night, pay the bills. But I'm not here.

Someone ought to pinch me. Maybe then I'll wake out of this fog.

1 comment:

Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...