Tuesday, July 19, 2011


A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from a new mom looking to join my working moms' playgroup. The one I started when I went back to work. When TRex was born. Five years ago. I politely informed her that the group would have been made up of five year olds if he had still been active and it ceased being active before the kids even turned one. She thanked me and started her own group.

The thing is, the working moms' playgroup never really got active. I tried my best to make the group work. I so wanted to meet other moms who were going through similar struggles--trying to raise a child, maintain a marriage, work full time, and keep the rest of life in balance. I planned an event once a month.There were six moms on the email list and only three of us ever got together at a time and usually it was only two of us. It is really hard to find a time where multiple working moms can get together, especially when toting the kids along for the ride.

When I got pregnant with DQ and was so, so tired, I didn't have the energy to plan any more play dates. Right after I regained my energy, we got DQ's diagnosis. That was the end of the playgroup.

Until I opened that email from the new mom, I hadn't really thought about the playgroup much (except when I do my taxes--one of the mom's husband is our tax guy). But since I opened that email, the playgroup sits in the back of my mind regularly. Not because I was close to the women. I barely knew them. And not because TRex missed the other babies. He was under one and went to day care. He had loads of friends and interaction, so those playgroup kids were blips on his radar.

I guess part of me wishes for what I was trying to build back then--friendships with people who understood where I was coming from. If I had become friends with even one of those women, I could then just call her up and hang out, get a drink, talk to someone in person. But, that didn't happen.

Don't get me wrong. I have plenty of very good friends, more than I probably deserve. But my best friends (besides the Mad Scientist and he is not a girl) live in different states--four different states. If I want to go out for a night, it is a big production that requires at least a month of planning or six months. There is no casual dropping by, no spur of the moment "I need to escape, HELP ME" nights. And that is unfortunate.

How do you make new friends (outside of work) now that you are an adult?


  1. If you figure that secret out, LET ME KNOW!

  2. I joined MOMS Club when my kids were small, and that's how I met people. But, when the kids got older, we all went back to work and now rarely see each other.
    Lately, I make all my new friends through BLOGS. Which is great, except they live all over the country (like you). :)


Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
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