Thank you all so much for your words and support after my post yesterday. I really appreciate it.
The Mad Scientist and I took TRex out to dinner without the Dancing Queen last night (she went with Ma) and had a nice long talk. We told him everything we thought he ought to know. We explained DQ's broken heart more, we explained the seriousness of it. We even told him that there had been times when we didn't know if DQ would come home. Of course that scared him. We told him that we get scared too and it was okay. We also assured him that the reason we take DQ to so many doctors and take her to the hospital and give her so many medicines is because we are doing everything in our power to keep her healthy. We even told him how he helps. And we tied it all back to DQ's wish. But most importantly, we let him know he could ask any question ever and he could let us know if something made him angry, sad, or scared.
Overall, I think it went very well. We did expect some questions, but he had none. Well, at least he had none last night. As I drove him to school this morning, he bombarded me with all sorts of questions. Luckily, we had time and I was able to answer them. Since DQ got sick last night, TRex was scared. Instead of taking it out with anger, he talked to me about it. It was a very good morning. And the fighting has ceased (well, at least the over the top fighting we had been experiencing ceased).
We've always been open with TRex. We have never lied about DQ's condition, but we also didn't volunteer how desperately serious it was at some points. Yesterday was not the first time we had told TRex that having DQ in the hospital scared us. And it wasn't the first time we've discussed her prognosis. But I do think it was the first time it was not in the context of DQ in the hospital or just having surgery or a procedure. I think it was more of a wake up call to TRex that this is not going away. Couple that with TRex learning this week in school that most people don't spend much of their lives in doctors' offices and hospitals and it was a little mind-altering for the poor little guy. Hopefully, now that the dialogue has started, he will continue to feel comfortable coming to us when he is jealous or angry or thinks something is not fair.
I guess the next hurdle will be when he says something is not fair and he will be right.