Wednesday, March 7, 2012


The Dancing Queen got sick again on Monday. Since the Mad Scientist had to take her to the doctor before TRex got out of school, but wouldn't get home before latchkey closed, I got to pick him up. (Normally, I only do drop off.) It is very different for me to see TRex at the end of day, rather than the beginning. In the morning, he doesn't want to leave me. He clings so tight and tells me several times "I love you, Mommy", then runs off reluctantly trying to find something to occupy the 20 or so minutes before class starts.  In the afternoon, he is excited to see me, but he has been playing, having fun. There is no clinginess. It makes me so happy to know that he can fit in and play with the other kids.

On Monday, as as I was signing TRex out of latchkey, a little boy walked by. TRex ran to him and gave him the biggest hug before we left. The little boy hugged TRex right back. And it made me smile so much because it reminded me of my toddler TRex and my preschooler TRex who always hugged his friends goodbye. I didn't realize he still did it. It made my heart swell to know the other little boy reciprocated (I learned the other little boy was "L", TRex's best friend).

The next day, DQ stayed home from school with pink eye. She was very sad about it, so TRex vowed to make her a love card when he was at school. And he did. He made his sister a love card.

He drew Papa, Ma (with her crazy hair), DQ (with her special heart), TRex, Daddy, and Mommy to show his love.

This is the kind of boy I want to raise: a boy who loves his family and loves his friends. A boy not afraid to show the world his feelings.

Yet, I have to wonder how much longer will TRex be so innocent? How will that innocence be lost? Will some older child make fun of him for hugging his friends and make him ashamed of hugs? Will a friend push him away and call him something awful? While I teach my children to hold onto their love and not to be ashamed of who they are and who they love, I can only prepare TRex so much. And no matter what I say or how often he hugs his family, at some point, it will no longer be "cool" to hug your friends; it will no longer to be "cool" to love your family openly.  I just hope we've built a strong enough foundation for him so that it won't hurt too bad when he "learns" hugs aren't cool or macho. And that he will always remember I love him, even if he is too cool to tell me he loves me. I hope he remembers all of the times I told him I will love him no matter what he does or how he acts and that I know he loves me no matter what he says or does.

I guess that is all I can do.

Well, that, and make sure I get plenty of hugs and love now to tide me over for the time period when he is too cool for mom.


  1. I think there's hope for him. :)  My husband is a really quiet, reserved guy, but I've never seen a Dad shower his kids with so many hugs and kisses.  And, he comes from the most tight-knit, loving family I've ever met.  I have a strong hunch TRex will end up being an equally awesome & loving young man.  :)

  2. Thanks! I know, at some point, TRex will return to my huggy boy because that is who he is fundamentally, but I also know, someday soon, he will lose that hugginess and that openness, replace it with the wall that all of us build. No matter how huggy a man is with his kids, you don't see them hug friends.

  3.  Thanks, Stef! The first time I saw TRex's love card, I thought of your post about Logan and drawing his heart.


Having a child with a CHD is like being given an extra sense---the true ability to appreciate life. Each breath, each hug, each meal is a blessing when you've watched your child live off a ventilator, trapped in an ICU bed, being fed through a tube. Each minute is a miracle when you've watched your child almost die and come back to you.
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