Nightmare

I saw the GI about two weeks ago and it was decided that I needed to be biopsied again. I scheduled the test for May 7 because I had a trial before then. At the time, I was feeling bad--nausea after meals and the pain and other the symptoms I had been experiencing for a long time--but it was manageable. The doc even offered me pain meds that work specifically on the small bowel where my pain has been concentrated forever. I declined because I knew no matter the test results, after the test, I was going gluten free to see if it helped. The GI was in agreement and actually suggested it before I mentioned that was my plan. So, I left that appointment, ready to do what was necessary. I had a plan.

That was about two weeks ago. With the test coming, I made certain I was eating at least two glutenous meals a day. And then, I started to get worse. Every symptom has intensified. And now, I'm living in a food nightmare.  I dread eating, but I seem to always be hungry, even after eating. I feel like I'm living in a constant fog and I can't concentrate. I'm tired all of the time, but I can't sleep. The pain and nausea are at all time highs. I could barely drive the other day and as soon as I got home, I kissed the kids (barely) and dropped into bed, crippled over in pain while the world seemed to be spinning relentlessly.

The Mad Scientist implored me to stop the killing myself for the diagnosis and TRex begged me start not eating what I love, but I didn't have a day to take off before the trial, especially since I didn't work Thursday afternoon through Wednesday morning.

And then it happened, the trial got wrongly adjourned (by the other side), so I gratefully moved my test up. I will finally be able to go gluten free this Thursday. When I began this journey back in February, I dreaded going gluten free. But now I'm ecstatic at the thought. I want to feel better. I need to feel better.

Gluten had better be my nemesis. I can't take any more of this nightmare.

Big Changes

Our lives have changed profoundly over the last couple of weeks: we've made a complete diet change. And no, I'm not talking gluten free. (I don't even meet with the GI doc until tomorrow.)

The day after my last post, the Dancing Queen saw her cardiologist because of all of the symptoms I've been noticing (swelling, pain, coughing with exertion).  The cardiologist had no explanation and decided we needed to cut out any extra sodium from DQ's diet.  DQ wasn't placed on a low sodium diet, but we were instructed to cut out any needlessly salty (sodium-filled foods), such as processed foods or restaurant foods.

I was very angry in hearing because I felt it was a cop out and, in the end, it didn't help with DQ's symptoms. What it did help with is convincing the kids of the changes I had been trying to implement in our family over the last couple of months. Since I had DQ's cardiologist explain directly to DQ that she had to make the change, the message sunk in.

The biggest change to our lives is not eating out as frequently. It is so difficult to find the time to cook a meal and make sure the kids still get to bed on time, especially when you throw in a doctor's appointment after school (and we're still burnt out on crock pot dinner). But, we've been working on no dinners out.

Since we don't really eat canned soups or processed cheese and the Mad Scientist tends to make most dinners from scratch, there wasn't a lot of change there. However, we did have to cut out canned beans--a staple in our house. We used canned beans in everything from soups, sauces, chili, burritos. Those are a go to for a working mom or dad looking to make a homemade meal since they were already cooked, high in protein, and not fatty like meat.

So, I have spent the last two Sundays soaking and cooking beans. We've made our own refried beans (well, they're not fried, but smooth and perfect for mexican fair).  Soaked beans for chili. And today, I've made tomato sauce from whole tomatoes (rather than canned) for a lower sodium lasagna (thanks to the lady in the store who gave DQ a sample and hooked her on the idea). We also have beans soaking to make our own hummus. 

So, what exactly is the profound change? The way we think about food. The Mad Scientist and I took this opportunity to further instill in the kids the importance of good healthy foods. We've always believed that fresh is best, but now we're placing fresh as a priority rather than a luxury. It takes a TON more time (which is precious to us), but we're all worth it. All you've got is your health. I want my family healthy. If that means I spend my weekend soaking beans, so be it.