Three years ago on this night, I went to bed, but never slept. It was the last night that I knew my baby was safe.
The Dancing Queen turns three tomorrow. I knew three years ago, that once my sweet baby left the warm confines of my womb, she had to breathe on her and circulate blood by herself. She was safe while I could do it for her, but on her own there were no guaranties. The fear of the unknown is one of the hardest things to deal with. At that time, so much was unknown.
Three years into this heart mom thing and I still don't know. I don't know what the future holds. I don't know the answers nor which way is up most of the time. But, I now know that you don't need the answers. Plans can be changed (that was hard to learn for me). Life has a way of moving forward no matter what you do or do not do. There are no guaranties in this world. I know that now and I'm not searching for them any more.
Best of all, I've spent three years getting to know one of the most amazing people in this world. I've got to be her mom. And for that, I'm a better person.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Angel!