How is it possible that I am sitting here this morning trying to explain to my almost three year old why she has to play alone at school? I thought I could wait until junior high for my kids to be ostracized or at least kindergarten. But no, apparently, something about the Dancing Queen makes it so other kids won't play with her, at least in her mind's eye.
Since she has been back at school following her hospitalization, she has cried hard when being dropped off. She won't let me leave without running to me each morning. She fights me every morning, saying she doesn't want to go to school. She doesn't like it. She is visibly sad. I have been trying to figure out all week what is going on. I had noticed that the kids weren't gathering around us like they used to before the Dancing Queen's hospitalization. Before, they were waiting to play with the Dancing Queen. Now, she is usually by herself for the time when I am there. TRex told me that the Dancing Queen always asks to play with him, but he doesn't want to play with her at school, so she plays with nobody. My baby plays with nobody. Nobody. At play time, there are three classes of students, well over 30, and my baby is all alone. She isn't even 3.
I talked to the Dancing Queen about this. I tried not to put words in her mouth. I asked her who she played with at school. She told me "I play alone." I asked, "you don't play alone all of the time, do you?" She said, "I play alone and I am sad, but then I come home and play with Ma, then I'm happy." She sees her Ma about once a week. This breaks my heart. I asked if the Dancing Queen shared toys when she played with the other kids and if she was nice to them and I didn't really get a response. I tried to explain that if she was nice and shared her toys, they'd probably play with her and she told me "I'll play alone and then come home and play with Ma."
This is very, very hard. We have always had the Dancing Queen in daycare and now preschool. She has always, always loved it. She usually loves people and loves, loves being around them. That was what made it easier when she was hospitalized from being sick. We could never imagine taking her out of society just to keep her healthy when she loves the world and society so much. We want her to have as much life as possible because she generally relishes it. Now, she is miserable. I know it is likely a phase, but seeing my baby so sad, telling me she plays all by herself, makes me want to jump into action and force those kids to like her, to play with her. She is simply amazing and they are missing out. She has the most amazing imagination and the games they could play would be fantastic. But, I know I can't force preschoolers to do anything, especially preschoolers I don't know.