Usually, I feel fear or am sad if I think about this life my poor baby suffers, but right now I'm just angry. I am trying to fight the anger raging inside of me, but it is so hard.
I am sitting in the hospital cafeteria right now. My dad stopped by to allow this moment. The Dancing Queen was admitted last night and won't likely be released until tomorrow maybe. I am so angry that she has to suffer so much!!!!!! Life should not be this hard at 3. All she wants to do is go to the park and slide down the red slide. And she is so used to the hospital that she thought the only thing in her way was the rain. Then I reminded her she was trapped in a hospital room. Trapped to an IV. Trapped in this life that rips every single good plan from our fingertips. Trapped.
So I am angry now. My girl is sad. The only good thing in this is my total despair from earlier this week has been replaced with adrenaline to keep my baby safe and anger.